Little house on Ash Street

It is easy to forget how fallen the world is in while in seminary. Of course the concepts are always there as we talk about it, but the reality is, when I was in seminary I was surrounded by people who had been saved by grace. I told myself how much I was going to miss seminary life. A life where everyone helped each other out, we were there for each other. I had friends who would watch your kids, come over for afternoon tea, and just be around. I remember many warm afternoons, just like the one today, where my kids played safely in the court yard between buildings while I laughed and talked to their parents. Even though we complained about busy lives, and financial hardship, we were for the most part happy and safe.

I knew that I would miss it, but I did not realize how much. I moved from a safe world full of people I can trust, into a world of brokenness and chaos. Instead of laughing and playing outside with other kids, I currently have my children in a fenced backyard as I watch drama unfold. To my right a mom yelling and cussing at her child as she literally drags him by the arm back into the house and slams the door. My heart breaks for that little 4 year old as we all know what happens next. To my left two women having a fight in the street, yelling and calling each other names. As one tries to leave the other chases her down and punches her in the face. As I watch out my living room window I find myself not knowing what to do. Do I step out and talk to them? If I do will they just hit me? How do I help people who want nothing to do with me? I can hear them say "Who you do think you are?" That is a very good question. I try to be the light of the world in my neighborhood. Most of my neighbors who know me know I am a Christian. I try to reach out, but also find myself wanting to stay away. I have one neighbor who is constantly accusing people of breaking her things, or saying mean things to her daughter (who I think is a brat). I don't want my children to be accused of such things, so my first instinct is to have them stay away. Is that a good attitude? Probably not, but it scares me. Every week I hear "so in so called the cops on me" or "a different so in so's kids called mine "insert mean name here" and so I called DHS." DHS is very familiar with the families on my block as I am pretty sure they come out here every week.

Seminary life has it's ups and downs, but I really had no idea how much I would miss it. I struggle between being the light, and hiding it. I struggle between being friendly and protecting my family. I struggle between being hospitable and opening my doors to all or locking them for fear that someone might tell lies about us and the cops will one day show up on my door step. This is the broken world that we were all told about. This is the reality of a world without Christ... now what do I do?